Being a Wife in Islam
by Haroon Saadiq Women and Islam has always been a hot topic. According to some, women are not treated justly in Islam. But the truth is that this is just a propaganda which is being spread. Islam has given women rights and protection which no one else could ever offer. Lets see the status of women as wives in Islam. Following are some excerpts from The Holy Quran and Authentic Ahadith which show the status of women as wives in terms of their rights and responsibilities.
Rights of Wives:Allah (s.w.t) says:
" O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will, and you should not treat them with harshness, that you may take away part of the Mahr (Bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of his marriage) you have given them, unless they commit open illegal sexual intercourse. And live with them honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good. But if you intend to replace a wife by another and you have given one of them a Qintar (i.e. a great amount of Mahr), take not the least bit of it back. Would you take it wrongfully without a right and (with) a manifest sin? " [Al-Quran 4:19,20]
The Holy Prophet said:
" Treat women nicely, for a woman is created from a rib, and the most curved portion of the rib is its upper portion (probably hinting towards her tongue). So if you try to straighten it, it will break (meaning divorce, as mentioned in the hadith of Sahih Muslim), but if you leave it as it is , it will remain crooked. So treat them nicely " [Sahih Bukhari - Book of The Prophets - The Creation of Adam and his offspring]
Narrated Mu'awiyah bin Haidah (r.a): I asked Allah's Messenger (s.a.w): " What right can any wife demand of her husband? He (s.a.w) replied,
" You should give her food when you eat, and clothe her when you clothe yourself, and not strike her on the face, and do not revile her and do not separate from her except in the house " [Abu Dawud, The Book of Nikah, Chapter: The right of a woman over her spouse]
Narrated Abu Hurairah (r.a): Allah's Messenger (s.a.w) said,
" The believers who show the most perfect Faith are those who have the best behaviour, and the best of you are those who are the best to their wives in behaviour " [Tirmidhi, The Book of Suckling, Chapter: The right of a woman over her husband]
Incase a man has two wives, Allah (s.w.t) says:
" You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives even if it is your ardent desire, so do not incline too much to one of them (by giving her more of your time and provision) so as to leave the other hanging. And if you do justice, and do all that is right, and fear Allah by keeping away from all that is wrong, then Allah is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful " [Al-Quran 4:129]
When they become mothers, Allah (s.w.t) says:
" The mothers shall give suck to their children for two whole years (that is) for those (parents) who desire to complete the term of suckling, but the father of the child shall bear the cost of the mother's food and clothing on a reasonable basis. No person shall have a burden laid on him greater than he can bear. No mother shall be treated unfairly on account of her child, nor father on account of his child. And on the (father's) heir is incumbent the like of that (which was incumbent to the father). If they both decide on weaning, by mutual consent, and after due consultation, there is no sin on them. And if you decide on a foster suckling-mother for your children, there is no sin on you, provided you pay (the mother) what you agreed (to give her) on reasonable basis. And fear Allah and know that Allah is All Seer of what you do " [Al-Quran 2:233]
If a divorce is unavoidable, Allah (s.w.t) says:
" There is no sin on you if you divorce women while yet you have not touched (had sexual relation with) them, nor appointed unto them their Mahr (Bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of his marriage). But bestow on them (a suitable gift), the rich according to his means, and the poor according to his means, a gift of reasonable amount is the duty on the doers of good. And if you divorce them before you have touched (had a sexual relation with) them, and you have appointed unot them the Mahr, then pay half of that (Mahr) unless they (the women) agree to forgo it, or he (the husband), in whose hands is the marriage tie agrees to forgo and give her full appointed Mahr. And to forgo and give (her the full Mahr) is nearer to Taqwa (Piety & Righteousness). And do not forget liberality between yourselves. Truly Allah is All-Seer of what you do " [Al-Quran 2:236,237]
" And when you have divorced women and they have fulfilled the term of their prescribed period, either take them back on reasonable basis or set them free on reasonable basis. But do not take them back to hurt them, and whoever does that, then he has wronged himself... And when you have divorced women and they have fulfilled the term of their prescribed period, do not prevent them from marrying their (former) husbands, if they mutually agree on reasonable basis. This instruction is an admonition for him among you who believes in Allah and the Last Day. That is most virtuous and purer for you. Allah knows and you know not " [Al-Quran 2:231,232]
A woman also has a right to separate herself from her husband incase there is a need. This is known as " Khul' " i.e. parting of a wife from her husband by giving him a certain compensation. Unlike divorce (Talaq) which is initiated by the husband, the man in a Khul' has the right to take some compensation from her wife. Narrated Ibn-e-Abbas,
" The wife of Thabit bin Qais came to the Prophet and said, O Allah's Messenger! I do not blame Thabit for defects in his character or his religion, but I being a Muslim dislike to behave in an un-Islamic manner (if I remain with him). On that Allah's Messenger said (to her), Will you give back the garden which your husband has given you (as Mahr)? She said, Yes. Then the Prophet said to Thabit, O Thabit! accept your garden and divorce her once " [Sahih Bukhari, The Book of Divorce, Chapter: Al-Khul' and how a divorce is given according to it]
For widows, Allah (s.w.t) says:
" And those of you who die and leave wives behind them, they (the wives) shall wait (as regards their marriage) for four months and ten days, then when they have fulfilled their term, there is no sin on you if they (the wives) dispose of themselves in a just and honourable manner (i.e. they can marry). And Allah is well acquainted with what you do " [Al-Quran 2:234]
Responsibilities of Wives:
Allah (s.w.t) says:
"... The righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands), and guard in the husband's absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity and their husband's property) ..." [Al-Quran 4:34]
Narrated Abu Hurairah (r.a): Allah's Messenger (s.a.w) said,
" It is not lawful for a woman to keep (voluntary) fasts without the permission of her husband when he is at home, and she should not allow anyone to enter his house without his permission. And if she spends of his wealth (as charity) without being ordered by him, he will get half of the reward" [Sahih Bukhari, The Book of Nikah, Chapter: A woman should not allow anyone to enter her husband's house except with his consent]
Narrated Abu Hurairah (r.a): Allah's Messenger (s.a.w) said,
" If a man invites his wife to his bed and she refuses to come to him (without a valid reason), then the Angels send their curses on her til morning." [Sahih Bukhari, The Book of Nikah, Chapter: If a woman spends the night deserting her husband's bed]
Narrated Ibn-e-Umar (r.a): Allah's Messenger (s.a.w) said,
" All of you are guardians and are responsible for your wards. The ruler is a guardian and the man is a guardian of his family. The woman is a guardian, who is responsible for her husband's house and his offspring, and so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your wards." [Sahih Bukhari, The Book of Nikah, Chapter: The woman is a guardian in her husband's house]
Narrated Abu Hurairah (r.a): Allah's Messenger (s.a.w) said,
" If I were to order anyone to prostrate before another, I would have ordered a woman to prostrate before her husband " (The Prophet did not order this because in Islam it is not allowed to prostrate before anyone other than Allah) [Tirmidhi, The Book of Suckling, Chapter: The right of a husband over her wife]
